who the fuck are you?

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I found out I have more than one soccer channel. I am so happy, I can now watch la Liga in peace

Toast Of The Town
 Toast Of The Town  1/2 

Pairing:Captain Kirk & Adam Lazzara & Ginny Weasley/ Draco & Ginny
Rating : MA
POV: switches a lot 
AN: I was really bored

Ginny knew that she would definitely get caught. Draco was much too loud and the bed was groaning under their joint weight. As Draco neared his climax they were unable to hear the sounds of Professor Lazzara's approaching the door to the girl's dorm. Now Adam was no fool and he knew exactly what was happening in the room. He had seen Draco's cloak on the chair in the sitting room. He began to pound on the door expecting the culprits to realize they were caught and get dressed and open the door. As Adam continued to knock
the sounds of intense love making increased from a low growl to a something of a roar. 

             "Hey, you two whoever you are get out of there now." Adam shouted not at all expecting the duo that stepped out before him. 
                  "What the hell...?"  "Malfoy.... Weasley? What the hell?" 
                    " Both of you report to the headmaster's office with me now." " Follow me hurry clothes on."

Ginny knew she was dead. Her father would find out and murder her or worse her brothers would find out and murder Draco. Why had they been so stupid. Why hadn't they used the room of requirement? They could have used a spell to muffle the sound in the room. God She was so stupid. Professor Kirk would expel them for sure. She would be the first member of her father to be expelled from Hogwarts, Fred and George hadn't even been expelled. Draco was worth it right? I mean she loved him right? Not enough to shame her whole family for sure.
           When they entered the headmaster's office the portraits were already asleep. There in a dark purple robe stood Professor Kirk looking extremely displeased to see both Draco and Ginny being dragged into his office at this hour. Ginny couldn't help but think about how hot Captain Kirk  looked with his hair slightly crumpled with sleep. When he met her eyes she felt an instant blush creep over and cheeks. 
          "What brings you to my office with these students Professor Lazzara?" said Kirk his voice ladden with sleep. 
           " I caught these too engaging in some late night activities  not approved for Hogwart's students if you catch my drift" said Adam while stifling a loud a yawn. 
         Kirk eyed the two students with surprise then his eyes turned very dark. 
       "Ohh really" , he said voice heavy with lust.
 I hope they don't mind me asking how was it? And did you get to finish?

Part 2 coming soon


I wish I wasnt dying chap 2/?

rating : light R

pairing : jalex, slight joncer

summery: dayuum dat dokotr is sexual~

author notes : manda is lube that is all


jacks pov

i new frum teh moment muh hand left his anus i wuz in lurve. alex had dat kind of effect on muh peen. alex had teh bestest hur it wuz tew colourz lyke mine. his lipz be kissable ya kno. i hurd him talkin in hiz sleep it wus somthin' about c00bz but idk. i hope hez not seeing any1 cuzz den muh peenz gunna feel bad D:. i walked into teh dokotor rum nd i saw muh bfflz jon + spencer mking out. i thought i waz gunna vomit cuz dey wuz kiss'n ova muh potatoez nd muh pototoez desver respectabler treatment i lefted teh rum cuz dat wuz grose. den i thought tew muhself mayb i shud go into alexz rum again. i lukd into his dur agen nd saw hin talking to jcock. i h8 jcock he iz teh worst pimp in teh town nd he beatz his hoz i hope dat alex inst a ho. i alwayz fall fer teh hoz.


alexs pov

jcock muh bfflz came tew see meh at teh hospital. i wuz vury suprised cuz he wuz on teh run from teh po-po. he told meh dat he wuz happi i wuz gettin bettah. i wantd tew tell him aboot jack but idk if he wud undastan ya kno. i sawd jack nd his gorguez face through teh dur. i told jcock dat i needed tew sleep nd dat he shud leev. afta jcock left jack came in tew check muh tempura agen ;]] dis tyme i wuz readii. jack walked into teh rum nd i jumped on him. we started kissing lyke wild mamamalz. den i straddled hym on teh bed nd we started teh thrusting. while we thrusted jack sed dat mayb we shud put on sum sexay muqic sew i put on muh fav sung get low by teh ying yang twinz. den i fund a niice bottle of choco lube by teh manda brand nd teh thrust conitued.

teh lil gkarth wuz going crazay. i almost cried cuz i wuz leevin 2morrow. dayyumm mayb jack cud cum ova muh crib.

alexs penis' pov

-brb in jackz anus-

I wish i wasnt dyin chap 1/?

Rating: P13
Pairing: Jalex , Alex/ Caleb, vague alex/ kyle, and alex/jfarro
Summery:dey doktor wuz hot


 alex pov:

I awakened in a white room. The first thing i noticed was that my anus was hurting like a bitch. The second thing was that a hot guy with striped hair had his hand in my anus. I looked over at him and said if you put your hand in my anus one more time I'm get Bpepz. "Dun wrry i b ur dokotor jack " he sed "i b takin teh tempura". "wit ur handz?" i replied cumfused. "nah der is a tempura stik in dur but ur giant ass ated it. " "muh ass iz teh normal size it juss b growin ya kno". den dr. jack gaved meh a wtv luk i was vury mad. b4 i culd tell him how mad i wuz muh mother walked enn. "halo jack halo alex " i new muh motha waz stone as usal she got her drugz from a dealer in canada nameedd emilija , she cut a fool 4 callin hur emilija ,so dey called hur E. NE way muh stoned motha came in and sed "ohh u nd jack b a cute couple " . i grabbed his hand frum muh anus and hit her wit it. i wuznt gay mayb i had 1 gay time wit caleb but dat was almost a dai ago. see i hav a vury bad kind of cancer called fagagit57 which is cancer of teh fut . teh dokotrs sed i hav 67 years tew live, so i inited caleb ova tew teh huse fer sum drinkz. den we found sum lube and started thrusting. wile in teh heat of teh thrust a yung texazian gurl came out of teh coob nd yelled "i new u b cheatin' c00bz i new it". den she ate him nd left as she walked out teh door she yellled stay away frum muh garderner. :| idk wot dat meanz NE way im not gay. jack haz a nice firm buttox nd sexaul hur dough. Mayb imma hit it den quit it like i did wit jfarro & k00bz. den as jack walked out da rum he sed "imma see u nd ur anus tomarrow ". nd i new he ment it. tomarrow i new i waz gunna fuck dat jack . muh penis seemed tew undastan cuz it wuz going wild.oh wait da juss rian again.



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